After the Mockingjay
by marauders.padfootsb
Summary: What happened to Peeta and Katniss, the star-crossed lovers, after the war? Novel. Rated T. Disclaimer.
1. Chapter 1

I don't know what's compelled me to get out of my house in Victor's Village; I have barely even gotten out of this chair in months. I don't bother showering - he will smell, too, I am sure of it - and walk past the house neighboring mine before letting myself in to the one after that. It's an absolute mess. Alcohol bottles are everywhere; laundry is everywhere; empty cans of food are everywhere. The TV is on a news station, but there a spot on it that's fuzzy, like someone punched it. It's, quite honestly, exactly what I was expecting.

A smell fills my nostrils - a delicious one - but I dismiss it at the sight of my mentor, of an alcoholic, of Haymitch Abernathy. He could use a shave, I notice, but as my left leg grazes past my right, I decide against saying anything.

"Well, sweetheart, you finally decided to visit?" Hearing him call me that is almost comforting, but then I remember I'm angry at him. I grab the nearest vase and hurl it at his head.

"You didn't come check on me!"

"Ah, I suppose I was supposed to, wasn't I?" Haymitch smirks at me and glances at the kitchen door. "Surprised the noise didn't bring him out here."

"Who?"

"No one."

"Tell me," I say, my voice low.

But footsteps come quickly, and soon I find out.

"Katniss." For a moment, I can't breath. He's not The Boy with the Bread anymore. He's still muscular, but he's scarred. So scarred. His skin is like mine, not even real. His pale complexion that was so like Prim's is _gone_ practically. I take one step closer - we're still several feet away from one another - but from this distance at least I can see his eyes. They're not that crystal clear blue that I could read like a book anymore; they're cloudy, foggy, still the Capitol.

"Peeta," I say, the name foreign on my tongue. In that moment, I realize how much I missed him. "You're… better?"

Haymitch snorts as Peeta gives me a sad smile that says, No. Not completely. "Look on the bright side, sweetheart; he's not trying to strangle you."

My voice betrays me, and I laugh softly, the first taste of happiness, of normalcy, since the end of the war, of me being the Mockingjay.

I sit next to Haymitch on the couch, and Peeta goes back into the kitchen. He comes out with cheese bread. My stomach rumbles, and he hands me some. And that's how we sit: Peeta stealing glances at me, me devour his cheese bread, and Haymitch drinking an entire bottle of whiskey.

The sun settles down, and it becomes increasingly dark.

"As much fun as this is," Haymitch starts, breaking the silence, "I'm going to bed. See you guys sometime, hopefully soon." He smiles at me, and I surprise myself by grinning back as he walks up the stairs.

"Could I walk you home?" Peeta asks me. I nod.

We walk in silence, because quite frankly, I have no clue what to say. What do I say to my ally, my friend, my star-crossed lover, my fellow tribute? The Capitol made us be so many things that I don't know what my own feelings are, concerning Peeta.

"The doctor let you come back?" I ask.

"You should call him like you're supposed to."

I want to punch him in the face, but when I look up and see a scar running across his forehead, it only reminds me of all the damage I've done to him. If it wasn't for me - the Mockingjay - he'd live on with only the nightmares of our Hunger Games.

When we finally reach my front porch, he grabs my elbow. "Katniss, I don't remember everything about us. What's real and what's not? I don't know, but I do know that I wanted so bad to come back to 12, and I think it's because of you."

I watch him as he walks away.


	2. Chapter 2

For the time since before the Quarter Quell, I sleep dreamlessly.

I call Dr. Aurelius in the morning.

"Katniss!" He sounds surprised. "Have you been getting my mail? Why haven't you called? Are you alright?"

"Peeta's back," I say, even though he's the one that signed him off to come here.

"I know... How do you feel about that?"

"I need to know what to do if he has another episode. I need to protect him." I'm a little shocked I feel this way - especially after all that happened in District 13 - but not completely so.

"Why?" the doctor asks.

"That's what we do. Protect each other."

There's a small pause, but Dr. Aurelius continues, "Tell him happy memories; ones you don't think will trigger anything to do with the hijacking. He has some pills in case he does have a flashback, but other than that, there's nothing you can do. I wouldn't have let him come if you were in any real danger, Miss Everdeen. He's come a long way."

As I hang up, there's a knock on my door. It's Peeta. He's wearing a very casual outfit and carrying a sketchbook and some pencils. "Can I come in?"

"S-sure."

"You had something going on with Finnick while I was being tortured in the Capitol. Real or not real?"

"Not real, not real," I assure him, taking his hands. I quickly let go. What am I doing? I frown, causing the same reaction out of him. Why does The Boy with the Bread make me like this? I've been hoarded in this house for months, and he shows up; nothing's going to be the same anymore, I'm afraid of.

"I'm sorry," Peeta says. His eyes aren't as Capitol looking as they were last night; they're more like pre-Hunger Games Peeta's.

"For what?" I force a smile.

"I'm going to have to play the Real or Not Real game with you, Katniss. I need to get my memories back of us, of the Games, of the Quarter Quell, of the war. I _have _to." The desperation in his voice is so full of sorrow, I think I'm going to cry. It's a weird feeling, since I've been so numb for so long.

Peeta senses that I'm upset, and tries to joke with me. "Maybe you should shower."

I smile softly. "You're probably right."

I leave him there, and begin up the stairs. When I reach the top, I turn around and look at him. He's drawing something; what, I don't know. From a distance, it looks like a little building. I push my curiosity aside and focus: I need to bathe.

I feel very clean when I finally get out. I walk over the overly-large closet, and open it; I don't expect to see anything, but I do. There are casual summer dresses; the kind I would actually wear. There are hunting clothes, and my outfits from every event that has happened since the Games began. A note is taped to the inside of the door, and my stomach lurches at the handwriting.

_My Katniss,_

_ Surely I'm gone by the time you're reading this, but I will never regret turning you into the Mockingjay. Battle. Fight. Win. You'll blame yourself for my death, and for everyone else's, I'm sure of it. Remember who the enemy is, and know nothing is your fault. When it's all over, don't dwell on us. We are so proud, everyone you've lost. You need to move, Girl on Fire. I'm still betting on you._

_ Enjoy._

_ Cinna_

A few tears spring in my eyes. I choose an orange dress, the color of the sunset. For Peeta. Cinna is right, and I wipe the tears from my eyes. After braiding my hair in my signature style, I go downstairs.

Peeta stares at me, and doesn't stop.

"You look nice."

"Thanks. What're you drawing?"

He shakes his head, and motion for me to comes closer to him on the couch. "It's my family's bakery. When they got rid of District 12… Well, it - and my family - aren't here anymore." I nod. "I'm going to open my own bakery. It'll still be Mellark Bakery; I couldn't imagine it being anything else."

"Me, neither."

I offer up a smile that he returns. I gather some courage and ask, "Do you want to play?"

Peeta studies my face, and when he decides I mean it, he starts. "You tried to stab me the night before the Quarter Quell. Real or not real?"

"N-not real," I say, slowly. This is much harder than I thought it would be. How messed up did they make me seem?

"You tried to break Rye's leg when he was little. Real or not real?" Peeta's brother, Rye, must be who he's talking about.

"Not real."

"You and Haymitch had a ploy to get me out of the second Arena alive. Real or not real?"

"Real."

"Why?"

I grin slightly. "It was my turn to protect you."

He nods, but looks frustrated. "Okay. I used to love you. Real or not real?"

"Real." _Used._

He smiles.

"That hurts more than I thought it would," I say aloud.

He had started drawing again, but stops abruptly as those words leave my mouth.

"Hmm?" He looks confused, his blue eyes shining.

"Used. You _used _to love me."

Peeta smiles sadly, but whispers, "I have a feeling I've always loved you, Katniss. I just need to remember."

We play some more, but I have a feeling he's making random questions that won't upset m again. He bakes bread for lunch, and we eat in silence. I ask if he wants to invite Haymitch over, but he doesn't. Day soon turns into night and my star-crossed lover leaves, going back to his own house in Victor's Village.

Again, I sleep dreamlessly.


End file.
